Tag: faith

Reading Roundup for October 2025

~ Joseph McBee ~ Leave a comment

I finished 7 books this month for a total of 53 so far this year.

I’ve had the honor of preaching some of the sermons in our series at church on Paul’s letter to the Philippians so I finished reading 4 commentaries on that beautiful letter.

The Epistle of Paul to the Philippians by R.P. Martin is from the Tyndale series. The very first commentary I ever owned was from Tyndale and I have always appreciated their concise and accessible format and writing style and this one was no exception. No matter what book of the Bible I am studying, you will likely find one of the Tyndale commentaries in my stack of study materials. I find them to be an excellent resource for personal Bible study as well as sermon prep.

Philippians: Rejoicing and Thanksgiving by David Chapman is from the Focus on the Bible Series and I thought it was excellent. I had not heard of the FOTB series of commentaries before I picked this up, but I will be adding all of them to my library if they are all this thorough and easy to read and understand. This volume was a cross between scholarship and devotional. You don’t need training in ancient Greek to understand it and yet the scholarship in it is rich. I highly recommend this one.

Philippians by Frank Thielman is from the NIV Application Commentary. It has been my experience that some of the NIV Application commentaries are better than others and this is one of the better ones. I like the way the whole series attempts to bridge the gap between what the Scriptures meant to the original readers and what they mean to us today. This one was more devotional than scholarship, and that’s fine. The only downside to this one was that it was sometimes hard to follow which verse the author was expounding on. Still, though, a solid resource.

Philippians by Dennis E. Johnson is from the Reformed Expository Commentary series. I love every volume of this series I have in my library. They are all excellent and Johnson’s volume on Philippians is right on track with all the others. This one is also a robust blend of Biblical scholarship and devotional literature. You can sit down and read these books straight through and be encouraged and convicted and walk away with a deeper understanding of God’s Word. I haven’t read them all, of course, but I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend any of them.

Encouragement: The Unexpected Power of Building Others Up by Larry Crabb and Dan Allender was a nice little book that was…well, encouraging. As Christians we are missing out if we are not seeking ways to encourage and build up our brothers and sisters in Christ. It is a way we can serve others, be active members of the church, and receive blessings ourselves. There are great blessings for those who encourage others, as well as those who are being encouraged. This book is a slim and helpful volume of inspiration and instruction on this kind of “every member a minster” work.

A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving. I think I want to write a longer review of this one. I have a lot of thoughts on it. This was my second reading of this book and it lands differently in a second reading. The writing is excellent and the story is captivating and the characters, every single one of them, are fully realized and stay with you long after you finish the last page. What interested me the most was the constant theme of the guiding hand of Providence even in those who do not believe.

Theo of Golden by Allen Levi. Okay, I want to be so careful here. I read this for my book club and many of them, and SO many others, absolutely love this book. I am not one of those people. I respect Levi for the work he put into this self-published novel, and apparently it has struck a chord with many people because it is hugely popular. In fact, I started to wonder what I was missing just based on its popularity but it just did not strike that same chord with me. I didn’t think it was well written or plotted and it was so sugary sweet I felt manipulated instead of moved. And I found the ending unsatisfying and a bit forced. I’m sorry to those who love this book and I wish the author all the best. This kind of thing just isn’t for me.

On My TBR for November

Here are some of the books I hope to finish next month.

  • The Emotional Craft of Fiction by Donald Maas
  • The Affections of Christ Jesus by Nijay K. Gupta
  • Spiritual Direction and the Care of Souls edited by Gary W. Moon and David G. Benner
  • Hideki Smith and the Omukade by A.J. Hartley
  • LEAD by Paul David Tripp
  • A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
  • Foster by Claire Keegan

Be Quiet My Soul

~ Joseph McBee ~ Leave a comment

Be quiet my soul, you’re talking too much. – Guigo II, The Carthusian

I am quieter now than I was as a younger man. That may shock some people who know me, but it’s true. I used to talk way too much, dominating conversations, showing off, trying to be the center of attention, and keep everyone entertained and engaged…with me, of course.

My journey to keeping my mouth shut started when I was playing Bible Trivia with a group of friends in college. I regaled them all with my knowledge of the Bible, answering every question correctly. No one stood a chance.

The problem is that I had not been invited to join them. I just inserted myself into the group and started playing. Another problem was that I wasn’t giving anyone else a chance to play.

Yeah. I was THAT guy.

Finally, a girl in the group, clearly tired of my bombastic attitude shut me down hard. Glaring at me she said, “This would be a lot more fun if someone didn’t take over and we all had a chance to play!”

No one contradicted her and no one defended me. They just looked at me. Clearly, they all felt the same way.

I offered my apologies, and made a hasty exit, tail tucked between my legs, my face red from shame.

Could the young lady have handled the situation in a more gracious and kinder way? Of course. But she wasn’t wrong. I was an unwelcome guest, and worse, I was a rude guest.

The event caused me to think about how I came across to others and that I did not make room for them. Bottom line: I talked too much and listened too little. “[L]et every person be quick to listen, SLOW to speak” James reminds us. I was the opposite.

I wish I could say I learned the lesson once and never had to learn it again, but that would be a lie. I still have to remind myself to be still and quiet and to make room for others. To welcome others to open their hearts and let me truly HEAR them for a while. And in doing that, I am loving them.

A quiet soul helps us live a quieter life. A life that makes room for others. A quiet soul also makes room for God. It’s hard to hear the voice of God when our soul is talking too much.

I was on my way to church, where I was scheduled to preach as part of our Summer series, Saved: Stories of Redemption and Grace. I was wrestling with an illustration I included. I wasn’t sure it should be in there. It felt contrived to me but I couldn’t convince myself to cut it. I was beating myself up because I assumed I was being prideful (which is not a bad assumption to make, really) but I could not get a peace either way.

Finally, I quieted my soul and listened for a moment.

And that’s when I realized that the story was fine. It was just missing a piece. It was missing the part where I pointed back to Jesus. Once I realized that I gave thanks to God and used the story with a sense of purpose and peace.

I just had to be still and quiet enough to listen.

A quiet soul, the one that hears God’s voice, is one that is still.

Tyler Staton writes:

Stillness is the quiet space where God migrates from the periphery back to the center, and prayer pours forth from the life that has God at the center.

Prayer, that conversation between us and the one who created us and loves us.

A still and quiet soul is hard. It has always been hard, but it seems even more difficult in our cultural context. As R. Kent Hughes writes.

Americans seem obsessed with the need for unending sound…But silence slows the frantic pace and gives time for reflection and individual dialogue with God.

When was the last time you sat in stillness and silence? No screens, no people, no projects or books or journals or music. Just still and silent?

A dear friend of mine said he tried that recently for just two minutes and he felt overwhelmed by the experience.

It’s harder than you think. But everything worth doing is.

Of course, being still and silent does not magically make God show up and speak to your heart and mind. He is God. He cannot be coerced or manipulated or forced. He will do what pleases him and what pleases him is always right and perfect and loving. What we are doing in stillness and silence, is making room for him. We are making him the priority. We are letting him set the agenda.

Brennan Manning was telling his friend Larry Crabb about a silent retreat he had coming up. One that he did every year. Crabb questioned him about the retreat.

“What does God show you on these retreats? What has he said to you in your silence?”

“You know…I don’t think God has ever spoken to me during one of these retreats.” Brennan said.

“Then why do you go?”

“I think God just likes it when I show up.”

Blessed Silence

~ Joseph McBee ~ Leave a comment

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven…a time to keep silence and a time to speak. (Ecclesiastes, 3:1,7)

Years ago, when my now grown sons were children, I took them on a homeschool field trip in the Fall to a Civil War historic site. There was a walking trail with multiple stops along the way where you could read about what took place during the battle.

We made our way together along the trail and they took turns reading to us about the events of the battle and we would stare for a moment and try to imagine what it may have looked like before we moved on.

When we climbed a hill I noticed something in the trees and directed my sons to sit down on a bench conveniently placed in front of what I hoped they would see a short distance away.

We sat and I said nothing and, as young boys do, they quickly grew bored and wanted to move on. I asked them to be still and be silent and just watch.

A moment later, my oldest son gasped and pointed through the trees. His brothers were soon gasping and pointing as well as a tree that looked like it was covered in golden leaves suddenly came to life as hundreds of Monarch butterflies spread their wings and began to fly away from its branches leaving them nearly barren. It was truly a beautiful sight and one I will probably never see again.

That sight is what my boys talked about the most over the next day or two. But we all would have missed it if we had not been silent and still.

About this time last year, a friend and I visited a Makoto Fujimura exhibit just a couple of hours from where I live. My favorite piece was one called “Silence” inspired by the novel of the same title by Shusako Endo. The picture below does not begin to do it justice.

We were invited to sit in front of the massive work of art in silence to enjoy it. I have extreme hearing loss so I turned off both of my hearing aids, which reduces me to only 25% of my hearing, and sat in literal silence before that painting.

At first my mind was racing with images I thought I saw and patterns and meaning and then I tried to quiet all of that and just sort of let the beauty of it wash over me. I didn’t try to empty my mind or anything, I just tried to notice and be aware and let the thoughts come without trying to force them.

I am thankful to God for that experience. For BOTH of these experiences. They are a reminder to me that there is a time for silence. There is a time to be still and quiet and open to whatever God wants to do in that moment, even if he is silent himself.

I think we all know there is “a time to speak” but I think we forget that there is also “a time to keep silence.”

But we live in a culture that majors in distraction and noise. It’s everywhere we look. It’s loaded into the device in our hands that is now essentially an extension of our bodies.

Life has been so hectic lately, so stressful, with so many things to do and places to be and things to pay for and goals to achieve and projects to complete. I feel overwhelmed.

Do you?

What I long for is some silence. To just sit with God in a quiet place and see what he will say. Or just sit with God in a quiet place and know I am beloved even when he says nothing.

Why is that so hard for us to do? And I don’t mean finding time to do it, I mean the act itself is hard.

When was the last time you tried to just sit in complete silence for a while?

But what are we missing by chasing and saturating ourselves with noise?

Paying Attention to Meaning in Art

~ Joseph McBee ~ Leave a comment

“Things mean things.”

That’s what Jeffrey Overstreet‘s high school English teacher taught him about poetry and literature and films and art and he has carried that lesson with him as a movie critic and author and teacher.

Objects and words and images have meaning. Sometimes the creator uses them intentionally to convey specific ideas or truths, and at other times, the meaning is personal to the one who is engaging with the art. The work speaks to us in ways the creator may never have intended, but we get the message nonetheless.

Years ago, I visited an Annie Leibovitz photography exhibit at the High Museum of Art in Atlanta. I only remember one portrait. It’s the one in the White House of members of the Bush Administration’s war time cabinet. Something in that portrait jumped out at me and I couldn’t take my eyes off of it.

It was a band-aid on the thumb of Donald Rumsfeld.

The way his hand is positioned in the portrait told me I was MEANT to see the bandage. Leibovitz seemed to be saying “look at this!”

Here was this huge portrait of some of the most influential and powerful people on the planet at that time and one of them had a boo-boo. The meaning, to me at least, was that these are human beings, just like me. They are fallible and weak and easily injured, just like me.

It was a powerful experience with art and one I hope I never forget.

As a Christian, I believe that Scripture is the only infallible source of authority for faith and practice. I also believe God’s voice can be heard in art and nature and through others. God, the ultimate Creator, speaks through the creations of his image bearers. But we have to be curious and we have to engage and we have to slow down and pay attention. We have to remember that things mean things and that requires something of us, some effort to discover the meaning.

Works of art, whether a novel or painting or a play or anything else, has an impact on the way we see ourselves and the world and maybe even God. As Paul Klee says, “Art does not reproduce what we see; rather, it makes us see.” And I would add that it broadens and deepens and changes what we see and HOW we see.

But we have to pay attention.

In his excellent book, THROUGH A SCREEN DARKLY, Overstreet talks about “the God Room”. That’s what Hollywood people call the room where they meet with the Christian journalists and movie critics. At first it was an insult but those who have been in the God Room with these believers have discovered that they often have the deepest and most profound conversations about art there.

That’s because Christians see the world differently. We are looking for God and truth in what we see on the screen and when we see it, we point it out and ask meaningful questions about it. And in doing so, these Christian film critics have often shown the artists themselves something they didn’t realize was in their own work.

When was the last time you engaged art looking for the voice of God?

Change the way you see.

LEST WE DRIFT – A Review

~ Joseph McBee ~ 1 Comment
  1. The whole Bible is about Jesus.
  2. People change by grace, not law.
  3. Our ultimate validation is found not in our performance, but in Christ’s.

These three claims provide the substance of gospel-centrality. – Jared Wilson

Jared Wilson has written many gospel-centered books. This is not his first, and God willing it won’t be his last. But out of all the ones I’ve read so far, and they have all been good, this one in particular stands out.

Wilson writes with the mind of a theologian, the heart of a pastor, and the passion of someone who knows he is a great sinner in need of a great Savior. In fact, he is very open and honest about his own weaknesses and the ways he has drifted from the gospel and the consequences that came with that and how the gospel of Jesus Christ was and is good news to him.

In LEST WE DRIFT, Wilson deftly reveals the ways the modern evangelical church has drifted away from the true gospel and into victimhood, dryness, superficiality, pragmatism, and what he calls “the new legalism.” I cannot point to a single one of these and say, “THIS, this is the one I drift toward.” I cannot say that because I have been guilty of them all.

As Wilson shows us, this is because it’s so tragically easy to drift away from the good news of Jesus into other things, even important and good things, and point to them and say, “this thing is of first importance” and when we do that, we are missing it. We are missing where true life really is and we are pointing others away from Jesus too.

The author is primarily writing to people in ministry, especially pastors and those in training to become pastors, but I genuinely believe every Christian will benefit from this book.

Personally, I don’t like to say that any book other than the Bible is a “must-read” but if you’re in ministry in any capacity, LEST WE DRIFT should be added to your list quickly, read deeply, and discussed thoroughly with others in ministry with you.

As Wilson warns…

Whatever her pastors are, a church will become. If we do not much find the gospel resilient, over time our people won’t either. If we do not find it a versatile resource, neither will our congregation.

Pastors, lead the way back to the gospel and help your people stay in awe of Jesus by being in awe of him yourself.

The impetus for LEST WE DRIFT seems to be the way the gospel-centric movement among evangelical churches has faded and many of its primary voices have been silenced because of moral failings or because they have moved on to other ideas. They have “drifted” away from the gospel.

Sometimes, as I read this book, I got the feeling that Wilson is one of the few people left at a party everyone else left, not wanting it to end, or not realizing it’s over. There was a feeling of sadness in the way he wrote. Not self-pity, genuine sadness that the ones who left, are missing where the real joy is and he’s calling for them to come back. And, he’s inviting others to come along too.

Wilson’s writing in LEST WE DRIFT packs some punch in a lot of places. Take this passage from his chapter on drifting into victimhood for example:

The therapeutic centering of the self is not simply a perpetual deification; because every person now walks around believing him-or herself to be the center of the universe, we are inevitably and continually aggrieved by everyone else’s violations of our sacred self. The therapeutic insistence of self-centrality is by necessity an insistence on victimhood.

But while Wilson writes strongly, there is no harshness in the way he writes it. The strength of his words are based in love for Jesus and for the people of God. You may feel convicted but you won’t feel condemned.

I think, LEST WE DRIFT is a timely and beautiful book. I was more in love with Jesus after I read it, and I also feel more aware of the ways I have often drifted away from the gospel in my own life. But I don’t feel ashamed. I feel invited back to the heart of God.

I am DONE with “Self-Help” Books

~ Joseph McBee ~ Leave a comment

I have read my LAST self-help book and, honestly, I should have quit reading them a long time ago.

I’ve wasted countless hours and dollars reading what I now see as garbage books and what finally killed it for me was Mel Robbins’ latest best-seller, THE LET THEM THEORY.

The book is really about emotional intelligence, specifically self-regulation and relationship management skills. The premise is that we should just let adults act how they want to act (Let Them) and then we choose our response because that is all we can control anyway (Let Me).

That’s all fine. I don’t have an issue with the premise. It’s true, I cannot control how other people act or how they feel or what they think of me. I can only control how I respond and how I treat them.

That’s called being an emotionally mature adult.

And Robbins makes some decent points throughout the book, but they are just a few nuggets here and there and you have to wade through a lot of junk to find them.

Here are my problems with self-help books in general and why I will absolutely avoid them all from this day forth!

First, every one I have read, and I really mean EVERY ONE, has at least 20 to 30 pages of the author making their case for why you should listen to them and why, even though they have no formal learning in the area they are writing about, they are still an expert and have loaded their book with anecdotal evidence that proves it, and besides, everyone else says they are awesome and that the advice they give is “life changing.” Just look at how much money they make and how many speaking gigs they book each year and how many downloads their online content has.

Robbins even posts pictures of people with “Let Them” tattoos as proof that her ideas work.

Second, self-help books are all about…

  • Reclaiming your “personal power”
  • Living your dreams
  • Making life work for you
  • Dumping people who drag you down
  • Achieving success beyond your wildest dreams
  • And other hyperbolic nonsense

Third, self-help books are fluff. They are the cotton candy of books. They are pretty tasty, but there is nothing nourishing about them and they leave you feeling a little sick when you’re done with them. Usually, they are a blog post stretched over 200 plus pages with lots of stories about how successful the author is at whatever it is they are trying to hawk.

I experienced that with Robbins’ first book THE 5 SECOND RULE. It is an entire book about how counting down from five and then “blasting off” into whatever it is you are avoiding can change your whole life.

Finally, and this is really the clincher for me, self-help books cheapen relationships.

On the surface, THE LET THEM THEORY is an exception to that rule because it’s all about our relationships with others. But is it really?

Robbins’ book is all about YOU and how to reclaim and hang on to your personal power no matter what the people in your life do. And, like ALL self-help books I have ever read, if any relationship in your life is not working for you, dump them and move on because you are more important than anyone else.

That’s the inevitable conclusion. If it’s all about me, and you are not serving me and my goals, then you are gone.

It reduces people to obstacles to be destroyed or moved around, or tools to be used to get the life I want.

I used to be able to overlook that and try to hang on to the few nuggets I found in the book and just ignore the relationship advice.

I can’t do that anymore.

Maybe that’s because I’ve been on the receiving end of being pushed out because I wasn’t serving someone else’s happiness anymore.

But I’d like to think it’s because I am being formed more by my faith in Christ than I am by anything else.

“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Colossians 3:13)

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8)

“Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” (Romans 12:16-18)

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” (Philippians 2:3)

And so many others.

Am I suggesting that someone should stay in an abusive relationship? Of course not. But I think we are too quick to label situations and people as toxic, abusive, and traumatic, just because we get our feelings hurt or someone acts selfishly or because a relationship is a challenge.

Of course relationships are a challenge. And of course people can be mean and selfish and unloving and unkind. I know I can. So can you.

That’s where loves comes in. Not self-love, love for God and love for others. Those are the two greatest commandments after all. Jesus said so. (Matthew 22:36-40)

All this to say, I am finally done with self-help books. Better late than never.

Idolatry, Repentance, and Peace

~ Joseph McBee ~ Leave a comment

Little children, keep yourselves from idols. – 1 John 5:21

Yesterday I was struggling to find peace. I was torn up in my heart about something and the anxiety was building and with that, shame and anger.

As I usually do when things feel overwhelming, I took my journal and started to write about it.

Journaling helps bring clarity.

This time I couldn’t get clarity on why I felt so torn up in my heart, though. Of course, that just added to my frustration. I wanted the stress and anxiety to go away!

I stopped for a moment and asked myself, “What’s REALLY going on here?”

Then I wrote down…

“I don’t trust God. I don’t believe he can be trusted with this.”

Then I begin to write out a prayer about how wrong that was and that God was sovereign and good and loving and kind and that he would always do what was best for his glory and my good.

I repented for my sinful thoughts about him and confessed his goodness and grace.

And all my anxiety vanished. There was peace.

My circumstances have not changed at all. I am still exactly where I was. But my heart is different. The real issue was not my circumstances, it was my lack of faith and trust.

It was my idolatry.

We all want a god we can control, one that bows to our whims, our own personal genie that behaves exactly the way we want. And we build up that god in our minds and hearts and give that idol God’s name.

Then, when that idol let’s us down, and it ALWAYS will, we think we cannot trust the one true God.

And that brings anger and frustration and fear. But God is not the problem. It’s our wrong understanding of who he is. It is our idolatry that is the real issue.

And until we confess that and repent, we cannot know peace.

Thankfully, God is kind and his kindness and his patience lead us to repentance (Romans 2:4).

In his love, God also reproves and disciplines us to bring us to repentance as well (Revelation 3:19) but the goal is always to bring us back to himself.

It is an invitation to come home to him and to know him as he truly is, which is infinitely better than our self-made idols.

My Advice to High School Graduates

~ Joseph McBee ~ Leave a comment

It’s graduation time and we are in full swing with our daughter, nieces, and nephews graduating from high school. It’s an emotional time.

There is a sense of excitement and a sense of “can we just get this over with” for all parties involved. The seniors feel ready to get out and get going with “real life” and the parents are relieved in one way and maybe a little anxious in another.

Are they ready?
Did we do a good job preparing them?
How can we help without meddling?
What will they face “out there”?

I would like to offer a little advice for all the newly minted graduates, specifically those headed off to college. I don’t expect you to really listen. I probably wouldn’t have at your age, but I’ll feel better offering it all the same.

First, you don’t know as much as you think you do.

I am not trying to insult you. It’s just a fact and one that will become apparent to you FAST. There is no way you can be prepared for everything you are about to face so please be humble enough to ask for some advice now and again. That’s what grown ups do when they face something they don’t know enough about to navigate on their own.

Second, college is NOT the “real world.”

If you are going off to college after graduation don’t think you are entering the real world. You’re not. Not by a long shot. It’s different than high school, that’s true, but you’re still operating with a safety net. In the real world, there isn’t one. Enjoy your expanded freedom, but don’t mistake it for what you will face after you leave.

Next, the freedom you are about to get is going to overwhelm you.

I realize you can’t wait to get away from your parents and siblings and all the structures that have nurtured you for your entire life. They feel stifling and suffocating right now and you want the fresh air of freedom to do your own thing and make all your own choices.

I get that, but trust me when I say, it’s going to feel overwhelming.

That’s not a bad thing. And it doesn’t mean you’re weak or that you won’t make it. Take a deep breath, remember my first piece of advice, and do the best you can. You’ll get used to it.

Fourth, it’s okay if you miss your family.

You are probably convinced that once you move out, you’ll never come back and you won’t miss your family at all. If you are leaving an abusive home life, that may be true, but for most of you, it’s not.

You’re going to miss your family and that’s okay. It’s normal and good to miss being with the people who know you and love you no matter what. That will fade over time as you build a new support network, but until then, don’t be ashamed to call your folks or to come home once in a while. We are going to miss you too.

Fifth, you’re going to lose touch with your high school friends.

All those folks you grew up with, your ride or dies, your besties for the resties, you are going to lose touch with almost all of them more and more until they are just a nice memory. That’s normal. And you’ll make new friends.

There is nothing to feel guilt or shame about there. When you are young, friendship is a group sport. As you age, it’s far more of an individual activity. You’ll have fewer friendships as you get older, but they will also be deeper and richer friendships.

Finally, enjoy yourself but don’t be stupid.

College can be fun. Don’t take it too seriously. Learn and grow and explore what you’re interested in. Get involved in stuff on campus. Make some new friends. Do something to serve others. But don’t be stupid.

Making friends with stupid people doing stupid things will just drag you down with them. There are no parents watching your every move now so it’ll be much easier to do something you know you shouldn’t be doing. You’ll need to make wise choices on your own about who you spend time with and what you do.

Another part of that wisdom is doing things like eating right, avoiding alcohol (I promise it does NOTHING good for you), getting some exercise, making sure you’re getting plenty of sleep, and going to church.

You probably won’t do much of that stuff, and you’ll pay the price for it. Some things can only be learned from pain. Just try to remember, you are free to make choices but you are not free to choose the consequences that come with them.

I wish you well in this next phase of your life. Be patient with yourself and with your parents. We love you and we did the best we could. I know we weren’t always easy to live with, but neither were you.

It’s Not the Catastrophe You Think It Is

~ Joseph McBee ~ Leave a comment

Confession time.

I am a chronic catastrophizer.

I RUN quickly to the absolute worse scenarios in my mind, dwell on them, and become convinced that those catastrophic scenarios are the most likely ones, even when they are remote.

Make a mistake at work? Everyone thinks I am incompetent now.
Have a fight with my wife? We’re on our way to a divorce.
Have to start taking blood pressure meds? I am going to die any day now.
Don’t get the feedback I want on a project? I am a failure and everyone hates it.

NONE of these are true. But they FEEL true and my mind and body respond as if they are true.

Then I tear myself to shreds internally until the issue is resolved.

After that comes the feelings of shame as I realize that yet again I have blown something out of proportion.

Not Just What Happened, But What Will Happen

It even impacts events that have not taken place yet.

I have social anxiety because I convince myself that I will do or say something stupid and embarrass myself or my family.

I dread doctor visits, work meetings, social events, ceremonies, dinners out, and travel plans, all because I believe they will be difficult or embarrassing or won’t go well.

I am not paralyzed by this. I go anyway. I do them anyway. But, it’s difficult to enjoy them because I am waiting for disaster to strike.

It’s not fun. And it had become my default mode of thinking for so long that I wasn’t even aware that I was doing it. And I wasn’t aware of what it was doing to me and to the people I care about.

Enter a New Practice

I’ve been working on it. Part of that is writing about it in my journal and here. So you’ll see more of this.

I’ve been trying something recently that has been helpful and that is replacing my negativity bias with a positivity bias.

Negativity bias is the human tendency to register negative events more readily than positive ones and to dwell on those negative events.

It rewires your brain to associate negative emotions with certain people, events, and experiences, and causes you to avoid them or approach them with fear or even anger.

In fact, it can cause you to see ONLY the negative and filter out anything positive.

I’ve been working on creating a positivity bias by bookending my days with positive expectations on one end and grateful, positive reflection on the other.

When I get up in the mornings my first thought is, “Today is going to be a great day. I am grateful to you, Lord.”

That’s like a command for your brain. It starts seeking out the great things in your day that you can be thankful for.

At the end of the day, when I am in bed I rehearse in my mind all the great things that happened that day and give thanks to God for them. This is especially important because this is where the real changes take place in the way you think and approach your days.

I felt like it’s been making a difference, but the real test came yesterday.

Putting it to the Test

Yesterday was my annual physical. Those are important, especially when you’re middle-aged, and as my doctor reviewed my EKG she said I needed to see a cardiologist. “Non-emergent arterial blockage” she called it.

Cue the panic attack.

Only there wasn’t one. And that surprised me.

She said that as long as I got a full work up in the next 3 to 6 months and started taking a baby aspirin I’d be fine and they probably wouldn’t do anything about it but establish a baseline so they can watch it.

And there were other issues too, that I won’t go into here, but it was stuff that would have sent me into an abyss of fear and despair only this time it didn’t. Not at all.

In fact, I walked out of the office feeling thankful to God that these issues had been revealed and that the changes I had been making in my diet and physical activity already had me on the right track and that I could just continue on that path.

That was nice.

I have some minor health challenges to face, positivity bias is NOT living in denial of reality, but the issues I am facing are not the catastrophe I would usually think they are. Instead, I am facing them feeling thankful and determined to make the changes I need to make.

Why It Feels Like There is Never Enough Time

~ Joseph McBee ~ Leave a comment

Why does it feel like there is never enough time to do everything we want to do?

Because there is not enough time to do everything we want to do.

I am not being facetious. I mean this quite literally. It FEELS true, because it IS true. There is not enough time to do everything we want to do.

If you want to be delivered from the compulsion to do so much your head is spinning at all times and you feel exhausted and torn apart by all the demands on your life. Or if you want to be delivered from the sense of overwhelm that sits on your shoulders and pushes you onto the couch where you scroll through your phone or watch TV for hours on end because you don’t have the mental or emotional capacity to do anything else then you have to embrace an important fact.

You are finite.

You have limits.

The insanity of our lives begins to clear away when we embrace our finitude. EMBRACE it. Don’t just accept it.

Limited Ability

Physically and emotionally, none of us were designed to do it all. We can’t handle it. We each have a certain capacity for things. Some can manage more, and some less.

In Matthew 25:14-30 we read the parable of the talents where a man going on a long trip calls his three servants together to give them instructions about what they were to do in his absence. Verse 15 says, “To one he gave five talents, to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability.“

There are people I admire running multi-million dollar businesses, authoring books, and being a $100,000 + keynote speaker and I can’t help but think, “I couldn’t manage all of that.”

I think that because I feel like I know my limits. Maybe I am not a five talent guy. Maybe I can only manage 2 really well. I need to embrace that limit. It’s OKAY for me to be a two talent guy. When the man returned from his journey he praised BOTH the five talent and two talent servants.

The truth is I cannot do everything. But what I can do, I can do well.

Limited Life

We are also limited in the number of days we have to live. Some have more and some have less, but all of us have a limited number of them.

Even if you live to be a healthy 100 years old, and I hope you do, there still won’t be enough time to do all that you want to do.

At 54, I think a lot about how there are fewer days ahead of me and yet there is still so much I want to get done. If I live to be 80, it won’t be enough time. .

I will leave MANY things undone and unfinished. I just will.

And what will become of all I did finish? It will turn to dust and be forgotten over time.

The same is true for you.

That is not futility, it is finitude, and it is freedom.

Limited Biology

We also have limits physically.

  • We cannot be in two places at once.
  • We cannot go long without food and drink.
  • We cannot go long without rest and sleep.
  • We get sick and injured.
  • We can become disabled.
  • We grow old.
  • We die.

We can be strong, physically fit, and energetic, and yet we will still need to give our bodies food and water and rest. We will need to stop.

Push too far beyond your limited biology and you will find yourself exhausted, sick, and suffering.

What Can We Do?

Allow me to encourage you with a few responses to your finitude.

Embrace the way God has designed you. There is mercy in finitude. This life is hard, why would anyone want to live forever? We have been given limits by a limitless God and our limits humble us and drive us to the God who made us and loves us and that’s a good thing.

Work hard and then rest. In no way am I suggesting that we don’t need to work hard. Of course we do. But the way to honor God with that is to do the best you can and take time to rest. That is one of the reasons God set apart the Sabbath day. The limits on our body, our need for rest, remind us that we are NOT God.

Put your phone down. I think we can all agree that spending our limited time and energy doom scrolling is not wise. Let’s also agree to put our phones down and have a real conversation with someone. Let’s read a book. Let’s pray for others. Let’s study the Bible. Let’s go for a walk. Let’s go to a museum, or on a hike, or learn a new hobby, or be of service to others or cook a meal with our kids…I mean, come on, there are PLENTY of other things to do that are life-giving and fruitful.

Be selective about what you take on. You can’t do it all. Every need you hear about does not create an obligation for you. Every empty spot on your schedule does not need to be filled. Every time one of your kids or friends, or family members has a meltdown, you do not have to step in and save the day. In fact, it’s often better if you don’t. Here’s a big one, every good idea you have does not have to be acted on! You’re going to have to make choices. Saying yes to one thing means you MUST say no to something else. So choose. Commit.. Execute. And refuse to feel guilty about what is left undone.

If we can focus on being faithful and at peace rather than frantic because of all we are trying to do and all we are leaving undone, we will find a lot more joy in this life.

You are NOT God. You have limits. The limitless God made you that way. He has it all under control and EVERYTHING he wants done WILL get done. He will see to it.

So…peace to you. Be still and be at rest.